


Ballad for a Double-Edged Sword

by HerbertBest



Category: 6969 - Ninja Sex Party (Song), Game Grumps, Ninja Sex Party (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - 6969, Alternate Universe - Dystopia, Caring, Crack Treated Seriously, Enthusiastic Consent, F/M, First Time, Loss of Virginity, Panic Attacks, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-12
Updated: 2016-09-12
Packaged: 2018-08-14 15:44:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8019763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HerbertBest/pseuds/HerbertBest
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Getting what you’ve wanted for so long is not an easy thing, and love at a distance is not the same as love up close.  But for one couple, nestled in privacy, happiness shines.  If only for a moment....</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ballad for a Double-Edged Sword

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by [this post](http://sin-grumps.tumblr.com/post/150129628882/also-consider-your-grump-ship-of-choice-in-the) by @sin-grumps; which reads:
> 
>  
> 
> _also consider:_
> 
>  
> 
> _your grump ship of choice in the 6969 universe seeing the Sexbang orgy and being like “:o holy frick they can’t do that! we can’t do that! …can we?”_
> 
>  
> 
> _and then proceeding to do that (penetration only allowed if there is lube involved)_
> 
>  
> 
> _dan and brian are not excluded since NSP are other characters_

They have lived together for years in platonic stillness until this day, the moment where everything changed. 

It’s a relief. For weeks they have hidden in the apartment with her pale-white birds and their fear, hoping against hope for the Dick Elders’ defeat. He looks like the one they’re seeking, so travel is impossible; she makes her excuses, avoids eye contact, and harbors him. Inside, they listen to reports of the battle and sit uncomfortably far apart on her white couch, occasionally daring to brush fingertips.

Holly is fascinated by it all. He even bears the name of her beloved, this man who is leading the charge against the forces of repression.

Time passes. They drift in the silence of it until, to their shock, the sound of laser fire and explosions have been replaced with another sound.

Moaning.

Somehow, in the haze of anxiety and keeping up with the birds, they’ve missed whatever Sexbang has done- they’ll learn later, when the dust has settled and all has entered into legend.

Holly thinks the sound is pain, someone caught in the battle outside, at first. She nearly rushes to help them. But she understands what’s happening on the sidewalk when the news shows the orgy.

The loud, quite nationwide orgy.

She sits in mortified silence for a minute, painfully aware of Dan sitting beside her, cherry-faced, staring blankly at the screen. His fingers tighten and loosen against his kneecaps spasmodically. 

Holly realizes, with a wave of embarrassed shame, that she’s feeling something. Something inexplicable and quite pleasant in places that she’d never felt anything before. She squeezes her knees together. And then she looks at Dan over the top of her glasses until he turns toward her. She wonders what he would look like with his hair untied, floating loose and soft around his ears. She wonders what his fingers, worn to soft smudges from years of writing campaign slogans instead of pursuing the music he’s always wanted to write, will feel like against her cheek, her chest, the place where she burns for something to just….

 _”Holly,”_ he says, and experimentally reaches across to cup her face.

And it’s as if someone’s cut open her heart.

 

*** 

 

When you have hoped all your life for the death of limitation what do you do when you’re liberated? She doesn’t even know how to kiss; she simply apes what she sees onscreen. They are sloppy and keep chewing awkwardly at one another but it’s so intense when their tongues manage to touch. Practice makes a perfect mess, after all.

Her palm tingles when his hands start groping down her body.

His entire face is steamy-hot, flushed with lust and embarrassment as she tugs at the hem of her turtleneck. Dan takes it off and looks back at her pink face and has no time to react before lunging toward him, a ball of pink and white and sloppy emotion.

They break apart for air and she straightens, embarrassed. The decisive moment should be his.

Dan turns the TV off. The moaning outside has turned into a soft, zombielike grumbling. Suddenly quite alone with him, Holly’s aware of the heat pouring off of her skin.

He reaches for the hem of his turtleneck and pulls.

 

*** 

 

Everything is too much. The hot, slippery rub of his tongue on her nipple. The awkward stroking of his hand down her pale form, trying to learn it, while her own flitter about his back, a poor imitation of the birds she so loves. 

The discovery of a small tab of flesh that makes her hips jutter and stop on a choked moan. Her body becomes a river, an ocean, flowing toward his fingers.

Instantly, he understands that this is the key to her joy. His fingertip rubs and rubs at it until her mind shuts down and her body bucks. 

“Stop!” Immediately, he does, and when she opens her eyes she sees his face, red and wide-eyed, total fear in his expression. “I think…They need to be…” She gestured at his fingers.

Dan tries to figure out what she means, but Holly can’t explain it herself. He looks at his fingertips, shrugs, and dries them off. 

That’s the opposite of what she needs, and she shudders and squeezes her thighs closed. “No,” she says. The word sends him back and away. “I mean…” she flushes. “They need to be _wetter._ ”

“Oh,” he says softly. He doesn’t seem to find her a total fool, licking his fingers and getting back to it. He is dedicated to this as he was dedicated to work, to the small pleasures they sneaked and eked out before this day. The touching resumes, and ratchets her body tighter, nerves singing sweetly.

All at once it climbs and descends, dropping her into a throbbing crescendo of sensation. Holly enjoys, breathes, but the enjoyment brings panic. What is this feeling, this terrifying feeling that flings her into the air and leaves her throbbing around nothing?

“Holly! HOLLY!” Her name is being screamed. She opens her eyes and Dan is there, his eyes wide and soft. His hand is visibly wet and another wave of embarrassment steals her away. He is on her, frantic, smothering. “Are you okay? Please, please say you’re okay.”

“Yes…Oh…No…No…Yes?” Then, panicked, “Dan, I don’t know how I feel!” Her voice quavers and she reaches up for him. Her fingers cling to the sides of his arms, tacky as his own hands. It’s good but it’s awful, like a chasm that will open up to swallow them both. “Help me!”

“How?” he mumbles, running his fingertips through her short pink hair.

“I…” she looks down, sees _him_ and averts her eyes. For all of their stubborn work the Dick Elders had failed to eradicate the acts of beasts; she understands, vaguely, what that part of him will do to her body. She reaches for it blindly and he wails against her forehead.

“I think…this is right?” She scoots herself toward him, cants her hips up, tries to push it inside, where she aches in some inexplicable way.

“Oh Holly,” he chants monomaniacally, hands buried in her hair, dragging her up to his mouth.

Then he’s entering her and there’s a needle-prick of pain colliding with her pleasure, nearly derailing it altogether and forcing her panic back to the surface. She nearly swallows her own tongue in shock. Crying out incoherently, she pushes him away, wide-eyed.

“What’s wrong?” Maybe Dan thinks the act will kill them both. He looks like he’s in as much pain as she is. Holly hyperventilates for a moment. Both of his arms seize and rock her until she stops.

“Are you sure this is right?” she asks. She’s so afraid of being seen as filthy, unworthy, evil.

“I think so,” he said. “I…I just want to make you feel what you felt before. I just want to make you happy…you looked happy. Were you?” He tilts her chin up toward him and her teeth involuntarily chatter. “What are you thinking?” 

“That…that I’m bad. That I shouldn’t touch you or we’ll both die.”

Dan pulls her up against his skinny body, until they’re touching from chest to belly. “Holly. We’re touching now.” 

She doesn’t know which part of the obvious makes her stop – the sensation of his warm skin or the fact behind it. “I’m so scared,” she admits.

“You aren’t the only one. I’m terrified.” She rests against him for a long time, until her pulse slows and her heart rate calms.

“Dan?” she asks suddenly. “Can we…try again?”

He kisses her hair. “If you want to. Only if you want to. We don’t have to do this just because everyone else is.” 

She thinks he’s just being kind. Her fingers gently stroke his flesh until he begs her to stop, the touch-and-go display of desire too much for him to bear.

Holly lies down between his knees and sees his face looming over her. Hundreds of human beings have done this before them. Hundreds of human beings will do this after they die. _I’m brave,_ she reminds herself. _I just survived a war. I will survive this._

This time when he comes into her body she meets him eye to eye, hip to hip, mouth to mouth.

 

***

 

Outside the door there’s peace and serenity. Grass grows. Unicorns prance – the world has color, light and beauty again. But even the sweetest of victories carries a dark shadow. No one knows that difficult times lie ahead; that the air will soon fill with the sour cries of unwanted children, the anger of confused humans who don’t want to be fucked and have no idea how they fit into this new world, the women who are presumed to be public property for curious hands and couples chagrined to realize the difference between attraction, affection, lust, romance and fidelity. Reopening pandora’s box of pleasure has improved a sad, lifeless world –but it’s actually solved nothing here as it has failed to cure anything else in the course of human history, and there are no rainbows hidden behind the plate glass plainness of their lives. Except for love. Life is complex but love carries on.

In a tiny apartment in the most conservative zone of a joyless capitol the sun shines in and bathes two flushed, confused faces. He clings across her belly and kisses her rib, nose mashed flat to her skin, inhaling the scent of sweat and of her skin for the first time. 

Her fingers are buried in the depths of his hair, drifting across his scalp. It’s fire-bright to her touch, shimmering, shimmering. She can still feel his heart beating inside of her.

All at once, there’s language. “I love you,” Dan says suddenly. “I couldn’t…but you knew, right? You could totally tell, and even without this…”

She has to break the connection between them to kiss him, but Holly doesn’t mind. “I love you so much. Even if we never do this again, I’ll love you still.”

That calms him. He burrows into her embrace and tries to hide there.

Peace fills the room. He raises his head again to climb close to her pillow, resting his head beside hers, and she sees the little green sparks in his tearful gaze for the first time in her life. Has he always been this open, deep inside, in places he could never reveal to her before this moment?

In the corner of the room Paco makes a series of clicking noises, and his feathers are the same shade of green as the stars dancing in his eyes. 

Tears and laughter come to her in a wave. She is filled with love for Dan. 

But then again, she always has been.


End file.
